FOR YEARS I’VE FELT THAT THERE WOULD BE SOMETHING SPECIAL about my 27th year. I never quite knew what would be so special, but something, I was convinced, was going to set this year apart. So, as my birthday neared in June, I knew that I had to make a plan. I am not one who believes things just happen, I am sure we must make them happen.
The first thing I decided to do was to start buying more lottery tickets. Maybe this is the year I become a millionaire!? Ok, while buying lottery tickets certainly increases my chances of fast and easy money, it still leaves me waiting for something to happen.
I have to start painting again. The simple thought of painting usually empties my mind of any creative ideas, leaving me feeling like a daft simpleton, drooling uncontrollably. A deer in headlights; I am frozen by the high expectations I hold for myself and subsequently the 0-0 track record I have maintained for five years. I allow myself to fail without even trying to succeed. If I can conquer this severe artist's block, my 27th year will be a special year.
I know that you can and should start painting again but I also understand the fear. When I tell people that I used to sing and they correct me and say that I still am I singing I immediately retort with Janou's line from An Affair to Remember "the artist in me creates while the critic in me destroys"
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